If I were starting a hardcore band on this rainy Sunday, or maybe even a screamo band, or trip-hop project perhaps, the working title today would be Petty Grievances.

I have names for many imaginary bands or books I have yet to write. sometimes it’s both. I have a fake rap moniker and a work in progress called Séance Grotesque. More rap aliases: Protect Koresh, Up Sneezy. I have a theoretical hardcore band with some homies called Criminology. Who else does this? Show of hands.

Titles and names, amongst other things float around in my mind.

I actually have a petty grievance to air out, I have truck loads but I’m just going to address one. Nothing major. A slight irritation. Why are so many podcasts so wack?

I need the television on in the background and something playing when I’m multitasking. My wife says I’m autistic. I tell her she’s wrong as a tap my thumb and index finger together eight times and yell out, “Gary Carter!” I like to throw on a podcast and do all the things I need to do. No big deal.

I want to dork out. So I want some dorks who put in the work. I tried a new podcast this morning, the topic was the Friday The 13Th, the OG film. Sure, I’ve listened to dozens and watched countless YouTube vids on the subject but whatever I love the film and maybe, just maybe, I’ll learn something new.

I turned the podcast off after three minutes and opted for another podcast I follow, the topic was the assassination of Franz Ferdinand. See, it’s not all low brow.

It was clearly evident these two podcasters had no idea what they were talking about. These hosts were fucking terrible. They had the nerve to say that none of sequels deserved a high ranking on Rotten Tomatoes. The hell you say!

I know I’m hard to please, and I’m quick to dismiss but so many are just atrocious. I’ll write off a podcast because of the sound of the host’s voice. So many people are just phoning it in, they don’t do their homework and many are popular and I don’t understand that at all. I find many shows are not knowledgeable or interesting, or if they have guests they talk over them or make the whole thing about themselves. I hate the over the top animated host but I also hate the dude that sounds like he’s in the middle of taking a nap. And don’t even start with politics, check that shit at the door.

Anyway. While I was making breakfast and doing the dishes and drawing and watching It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, and taking out the garbage and slicing potatoes I came to conclusion I should start a podcast. It couldn’t be any worse than most of them already out there.

My podcast would be call Long List, an inside joke with my boy Matty, because the list of all the things I hate in this world is fucking long, and the list goes on and on.

Hit me with some podcast recommendations in the comments, I’ll probably hate them but nevertheless I’ll give them a shot.